


An Avernian Vale

by Wesakechak



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesakechak/pseuds/Wesakechak
Summary: The only thing that should matter to Rei is completing the Scenario as ordered by the Commander. That changed.





	An Avernian Vale

**Author's Note:**

> The instigator team of suzannah and thuccy strike again, coming up with the idea of Rei III visiting Asuka in the hospital and empowering me to ficify it. 
> 
> Welcome back from the dead suzannah.

They had left Rei in the medical wing of NERV Headquarters. Doctor Akagi had given her an examination, to see if her new body was functioning as intended, if her soul had taken to it. Rei thought that the Doctor’s response seemed positive. Therefore she was glad that her body was working. She could continue her part in the Scenario as proposed by the Commander. Therefore she still had her purpose, and could be content. Nothing else was supposed to matter. Yet something tugged at the edge of her mind, something that she had forgotten, or perhaps never known. Rei closed her eyes to help focus more, trying to find what she had forgotten. It could always be useful information.

She turned the corner, instinctively knowing where it was. And she collided with someone rounding it at the same time. Rei lost her footing, falling backwards onto the floor. She looked up at who had ran into her, and a woman with purple hair stared back. Familiar to Rei, even though this body had never seen her.

“Rei? Oh, sorry about that. I didn’t see you there.” The Major said, offering her a hand to get back up. Rei took it automatically, letting Misato pull her to her feet. The Major wouldn’t know, Rei realized. Wouldn’t know that they had never once met before today. Would she be so open if she did know, Rei wondered. A smile crossed the older woman’s face, one which Rei could tell was false, hiding something else behind it. Misato looked behind her, at one of the doors off to the side, “She still hasn’t done anything.” She muttered, seeming to forget that Rei was there. Then she began walking away, leaving Rei alone in the corridor.

Rei watched the Major until she turned the next corner, and then went back to looking down the hallway in front of her. Her eyes focussed on the door the Major had mentioned, and she took a step towards it. She only realized that she had taken the step afterwards, and she froze in place, consciously making sure not to take another one. There was something there that seemed to draw her to the room. A desire to see what, who, was in it. To see what sight could have possibly caused a person like Misato to act as she had. Additionally, she had no idea about what else to do with herself at the time.

She took another step towards the door. The only sounds outside the rumbles of the machinery inside the base was the sound of her feet hitting the metal. It was quiet. As Rei prefered. She took another step, and then another. When she reached the door her hand moved to the handle, opening it slowly, as to not disturb the sanctity of the silence. There was a quiet, steady beep from an EKG monitor that intermingled with the hum of the base, but aside from that, nothing. She slipped inside when it was open far enough to do so, and then closed the door behind her, careful not to let it slam.

The harsh florescent lights bleached the room white, and it took Rei a moment for her eyes to adjust. A knot twisted itself in her gut, a feeling that Rei was not familiar with welling up inside her. She took another step into the room, towards the undefined mass on the bed in front of her. Colours started to appear, though they seemed muted, the colour overpowered by the white light. Rei could still recognize it. Could still recognize _her_.

Red. The Second Child. Asuka Langley Soryuu. She lay on the bed, not reacting to Rei’s intrusion to her room. The feeling in Rei’s stomach grew more intense when she recognized the limp figure. A burning in her gut, confusion and conflicting feelings entering her mind. Rei looked behind her, finding a chair to the side and collapsing down in it. She held a hand over her stomach, trying not to retch. The feeling was similar to what she had felt when she had held the Commander’s glasses and broke them.

The beeping from the EKG sounded louder in Rei’s ears. Almost painfully so. One of her hands gripped the arm of the chair. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling it slowly. The sickening feeling dispersed enough for her to focus again, and she averted her eyes from the bed and its occupant. Then she stood up, finding the door handle and leaving the room. Her stomach settled the further she removed herself, and her feet guided her upwards, to the surface and her apartment.

She was again in the hospital the next day, walking through it after being briefed by the Commander. The Fifth Child was on their way, sent by SEELE as a replacement to the Second. Rei would not be able to pilot Unit 02, thus her days as a pilot were at an end. The Commander had told her that the Scenario was almost complete, and that she needed to be ready for when the time came. He had also told her that she was the last, that she could no longer be replaced. Doctor Akagi had destroyed the other bodies that had been grown, and there was not enough time for more to be created. She had told the Commander, and herself, that she would follow his orders, and focus solely on the completion of the Scenario. Even so, thinking of what was to come filled her with a foreign feeling. Unlike the one she had experienced yesterday though, this one was easier to define. Dread, fear, apprehension about following the Commander. She did not know his motives for pursuing Instrumentality, nor did she know her purpose in it.

Now Rei found herself returning to Asuka’s room. It was as quiet as it had been the day before. As she slipped through the door the knot in her stomach returned. It pushed out the sense of dread and fear that manifested when she thought of the scenario. Rei found the uncertainty to be better than what she felt when she thought of the Commander. A welcome relief that was as close as she could get to feeling nothing at all. This time she did not stop at the door or fall into a chair, instead she continued onward into the room to stand beside the bed. She looked down at the fragile figure lying beneath her, her eyes focussing on the gaunt body. Malnourished, pale, seemingly on the verge of death. Weak breathes passed Asuka’s lips, blowing the strands of her hair that had fallen onto her face. Rei held the belief that if it were her in Asuka’s situation, then she most likely would be left to die.

Though that did not hold true anymore, she reminded herself. She was the last, and no longer replaceable. She was needed to complete the scenario. It struck her that that was where her and Asuka were different now. Even though Asuka was not replaceable, she was no longer needed. Rei knew more could be done for Asuka to pull her back from her comatose state. Yet it wasn’t being done. She was being kept alive, but only that. There was no need for her to be active in her mental state. The life support was merely so that they did not have to deal with disposing of her dead body.

Asuka took another breath, and this time the hair in her face was pulled into her mouth. When she exhaled it was more forced, as if she was trying to push the hair out. It didn’t work. Rei frowned, and then tentatively reached out towards Asuka’s face. She brushed the hair out of Asuka’s mouth, and then moved her bangs away from her eyes so that Asuka could see.

The blue eyes were focussed on her, Rei noticed. Not wavering as Rei held the gaze, looking back into them. There was nothing to indicate what Asuka felt at that moment. No twitch in her face to indicate a scowl, or a smile. No sound passed Asuka’s lips, which was what brought the most confusion to Rei. Asuka was loud, obnoxious at times. That much Rei could remember. Loud and obnoxious, and not deathly silent.

Rei wanted to hear her. It was a strange desire. She could vaguely remember what Asuka had sounded like, always threatening to shout, if she wasn’t speaking condescendingly. Yet Rei wanted to hear that voice. Even if Asuka’s ire was directed at her. She cocked her head to the side, curious. Why would she want that? She could not say for certain. Yet it tugged at the edge of her mind.

So she left Asuka, watching her eyes follow her until she turned away and walked out the door. The question she had asked herself, why did she care if Asuka spoke. It should have been irrelevant to her. It was not part of the Scenario. It did not matter. Yet it did.

She came back the next day. After a brief encounter with Shinji that left her troubled. They had made eye contact for a second, and then he ducked down a hallway. Rei knew that it was a dead end, so the only reason for him to do so was to avoid her. Because he was afraid of her. So he knew her secret. Had he been present when Doctor Akagi had destroyed her other bodies? Her legs had carried her back to the familiar uncertainty of Asuka’s room, and she eagerly accepted the swirl of contradicting emotions that it invoked. Safety, happiness, anger, fear, loneliness, comradery. The desire for Asuka to speak most of all. Again she entered the room and made her way to the bedside. Asuka’s hair still framed her face, untouched from where Rei had set it the day before. Her eyes were closed. Perhaps she was asleep, Rei thought.

Rei reached towards Asuka’s forehead, putting a hand on it. The skin was clammy, cold against Rei’s fingers. Even the small movement was enough to stir Asuka, who opened her eyes. They stared blankly ahead for a moment before focussing on Rei, the pupils dilating as Asuka realized who it was standing over her. She exhaled slightly louder than before, enough for Rei to hear. It took her a moment to process that she had made Asuka react to her, and the realization only added to the confusion that Asuka was producing within her. Was she as fearful of Rei as Shinji was? If so, she told herself that it would be best if she left.

She didn’t notice the slight increase in Asuka’s heart rate as she walked out of the room again.  

***

It was two days until she was drawn to Asuka’s room again. Even if Asuka feared her as everyone else did, the selfish desire to find solace in the whirlwind of emotions that she invoked in Rei was too much for Rei to ignore. The Fifth Child had spoken to her before she had made it to Asuka’s room. They were the same, he had said. She knew what he was, and if what he was saying was true, she too was a vessel. That was her purpose in the Scenario. Now she knew for certain. And with that certainty came a sense of dread. It would be the end. And she would be responsible. The fear that she thought she provoked in others was justified then. She would be Death, and people feared death.

The EKG monitor was protesting rapidly when she entered. Rei moved swiftly to Asuka’s bedside, checking to see if anything was wrong. There should have been someone, a member of the medical staff, that would be summoned by the erratic readings. Yet there was not. Rei knew why, reminding herself that Asuka was no longer deemed necessary. She reached out and touched Asuka’s forehead, pressing down on it lightly. Asuka eyes opened, twitching rapidly for a moment before they settled on Rei. The beeping started to slow down, and with it Asuka’s breathing. Her muscles weren’t as strained as they were before. Rei began to withdraw her hand from Asuka’s head, only to be stopped when Asuka’s heart beat started to once again speed up. Her breathing grew shorter as well, as if she was anxious. Rei reversed her previous action, and with the re-established contact Asuka once again calmed down. Longer, deeper breaths than usual. Asuka was more relaxed.  

A thought struck Rei. She had been wrong in her assessment. It was not her that provoked the distress in Asuka, instead she was the one who relieved it. She made Asuka calm. There was a warm feeling in her chest, different than what she had felt before. It was not uncertainty in and of itself, yet the feeling brought uncertainty with it. Rei did not know what it was, had never experienced something like it before so could not relate it to a past experience. It was higher in her chest, not in her stomach but against her rib cage. Most importantly, it was an enjoyable feeling.

Rei moved her hand up, placing it on Asuka’s hair. She began to move it back and forth, stroking it. As gently as she could manage, while still ensuring that Asuka felt it. Asuka’s eyes, still staring at her, widened for a moment before slowly starting to close. The beeping from the heart monitor slowed even more than it had, returning to almost normal levels. Just over a single beep a second. Asuka closed her eyes, her breathing leveling out. Rei focussed on Asuka’s mouth, which was inhaling and exhaling normally. Except there was something different about it that had changed. The corners of her mouth tugged upward in a tiny smile. It was the most peaceful that Rei had ever seen her, even when shifting through her fuzzy memories of her past life. The hope that Asuka would speak, say something to her, returned. The desire that she could not rationally understand as to why she had it. At the same time the warm feeling in her chest grew more intense. She had been responsible for the reaction from Asuka, something that no one else was able to do. It was something more than the Scenario.

Asuka was fast asleep when Rei finally took her hand away. She retracted it slowly, reluctantly. The knot in her chest unwound itself as she walked out the room, leaving her feeling empty. She shook her head as she re-entered the world outside of Asuka’s room. Her time inside was different, subversive to Gendo’s plan. For in there there was something more that mattered to her than simply fulfilling the Scenario. Outside of that small room though, it did not matter. Asuka Langley Soryuu was of no concern to Gendo Ikari, and she should have been of no concern to Rei Ayanami.

Rei told herself to focus on completing the Commander’s plan while she lay in bed. The shattered remains of his glasses had been thrown into the trash, where it sat buried beneath the bandages covered with dried blood. It had been in a bout of emotions, her need to make herself forget the Commander. And she had felt no attachment to the glasses, even though she knew the previous Rei had felt some sentiments towards them. Her loyalties should lie with the Commander, but they did not. Asuka was irrelevant, she told herself. Yet she made Rei doubt. Made Rei think that there was more than the Commander’s plan. Something that she could have beside the confusion, the dread, the sadness. A happy dream, that would become a reality. No, she berated herself. She did not matter. Only the Scenario mattered. The Fifth would make his move soon, and she needed to be ready when he did. She would not return to Asuka tomorrow, nor the next day, nor ever again. She was a distraction, something irrelevant to the world in general, and especially to Rei Ayanami  

Rei arrived at the corridor early enough to hear a small group of people in labcoats walk down the corridor, talking about Asuka. Her doctor and nurses, nominally. They paid her no mind, very few members of NERV’s staff even gave her a second glance. They were used to the idea of Rei being at the base, in the hospital for checkups. As they passed her Rei listened in on their conversation. The Second Child was not going to respond at all, one of them predicted. There was a grunt of agreement from the other two, and then they fell out of earshot.

Rei pushed through the door of Asuka’s room with more haste than before. Had Asuka deteriorated in the night, Rei wondered. Would Rei ever get a response out of her again. Asuka’s eyes were unfocused when Rei stepped into her field of view, they were not even looking at the ceiling in particular. They were simply open, and not being used. Then they twitched, and Rei knew they were looking at her. The warm feeling in her chest returned with vigour. Rei began what had become a ritual for her, placing a hand on Asuka’s forehead and moving it up to run through her hair. As she had before, Asuka reacted to her touch. Her breathing becoming slightly more pronounced, a tug on her lips that may have been a smile. Still there were no sounds though, the voice which Rei sought. What would Asuka say if she could, Rei pondered. Would she be thankful for the companionship, or angry for appearing so weak to Rei.

Rei’s other hand hung at her side, resting casually on the bed and moving slowly up and down. It bumped into Asuka’s hand and Rei froze for a moment. Asuka’s eyes darted downward, towards the foot of the bed, and then returned to Rei’s face. Carefully, Rei moved her hand back to Asuka’s, and then pushed her fingers through the still digits, pressing their palms together. The tiny smile returned to Asuka’s mouth, and she shut her eyes as Rei began to run her fingers through her hair. Rei focussed her entire being on Asuka, tuning out thoughts of Instrumentality, the Scenario, the Commander. For now, they were distractions from Asuka, and not the other way around.   

Rei began to pull her hand back, thinking that Asuka was asleep. She was looking out the door, wondering if anyone else would come through the door while she was in the room. And how they would react if they did. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Asuka’s eyes shoot open. The tempo of the beats increased with Asuka’s apparent anxiety. Her eyes turning to Rei and widening. She opened her mouth a crack, and forced air out past her lips. Rei heard the sound, a shrill, broken squeak, and looked back at Asuka. There was something in Asuka’s eyes, desperation to not be separated from Rei. Eyes that begged Rei to stay. So Rei picked up Asuka’s hand again, bringing it to rest against Rei’s chest. Asuka smiled and the heart monitor settled. Forcing the small noise out had drained Asuka, her eyes stayed half-lidded while Rei soothed her to sleep.

Then Asuka’s eyes snapped open once again, and she stared at Rei intently. Rei frowned, wondering if something was wrong. Asuka’s heart rate slowly increased as she strained herself, and Rei began to increase the speed at which she stroked Asuka’s hair. Then there was a sensation. A tiny twitch in Asuka’s hand that Rei held. So short and so slight that Rei thought she had imagined it at first. But Asuka smiled, tiredly, and relaxed once again, her response to Rei delivered. Now she finally closed her eyes, and fell asleep. Rei stayed with her for another half hour, making sure that she truly was asleep this time. Then she gave Asuka’s head a pat and pulled away.

Rei felt like she was weightless as she left the room. A twitch of a smile that mirrored Asuka’s adorned her face. Even if Asuka was a distraction, it was one that Rei did not question as being unnecessary.   

The next day Rei saw the Fifth once again. It was as she made her usual walk to Asuka’s neglected bedside. He was leaning against a wall in one of the secluded parts of the headquarters. He held his chin in his hand, a contemplative look if not for the knowing smirk. Rei tried to pay no mind to him as he passed, but he stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

“We truly are the same, Rei Ayanami. Being distracted from our missions because we found someone else to care about. How long can it last, though?” He stated knowingly. Rei gave a curt nod before stepping around him and continuing on. She knew that he would not tell the Commander, nor anyone else, about her visits to Asuka. The mere fact that she had them seemed to be more than enough amusement for him. Rei could feel his eyes following her, the mouth still twisted into a perpetual smirk. Rei found herself walking slightly faster than she usually did as she left him behind.

The EKG monitor was beeping erratically when she entered the room. Fear entered to the pit of her stomach when she heard it. Asuka was trapped in another nightmare, one she could not wake from, nor even scream in her sleep. Rei rushed to Asuka’s side, taking her hand and holding it tightly. With her other hand she began to stroke Asuka’s hair, trying to rouse her from her slumber. Asuka’s breaths were shaky, and though Rei saw her heart beat began to settle, it was not enough. Panic gripped Rei, uncertainty that was once comforting now only making her feel sick. Now she needed clarity. To know for certain that Asuka would be alright. At least for now, as long as Rei was herself, before the Scenario was complete.

Her hands moved almost on their own volition. The one on Asuka’s forehead moved downwards to her cheek, and began to cup and caress it. The one that held her hand shifted, and she began to run her thumb back and forth over Asuka’s knuckles. Asuka’s eyelids stopped squeezing shut and her heart rate dropped. With it returned the warm feeling in Rei’s chest. Asuka would be fine, she told herself. She had calmed her. Slowly Asuka’s eyelids began to shake, and with herculean effort she lifted them, blue eyes gazing at Rei fondly. Her breathing began to grow more even, and finally her heart rate returned to normal. The small smile, perhaps slightly larger than it had been before, crossed her lips again. Rei smiled back for once, allowing Asuka to see it. She let the feeling in her chest overwhelm her as she continued to comfort Asuka. Perhaps, Rei hoped, if there was time, Asuka would finally be able to react, to speak to Rei. What Rei desired and Asuka seemed to want as well, abandoned by all others except for Rei. Companionship, even though it was a strange one.

The alarms of the base triggering was what finally tore her away, intruding on her thoughts of Asuka. The Fifth had made his move, then. There was a small shiver from Asuka, the first movement aside from the twitch in her hand. What could have been fear crossed her face. Her breaths grew shaky. Rei reached down, caressing Asuka’s cheek and then patting her head. A silent way to tell her that she would be back soon. It seemed to calm Asuka, and Rei allowed herself to separate herself from Asuka. Even then, Asuka grew anxious, the beeping from her heart monitor increasing. Rei forced herself to ignore it as she walked out of the room, her mind turning back to the crisis at hand. The Fifth would try to reach Terminal Dogma, so that was where she too would head. But she would be back, to ensure that Asuka was okay.

***

She was only able to return the day after witnessing the Fifth’s death at Shinji’s hands. The entire world felt askew, things happening too fast and any and all sensations too much for her to handle. The end was approaching, she knew. She should have been relieved, it represented an end to her existence. That was what she wanted, she told herself. Yet there were other things for her to consider, now. The strange sense of companionship she felt when she was with Asuka. That was something else. A doubt in her resolve. How much longer would she have to experience that feeling, she thought.

Rei saw Shinji hurry into Asuka’s room from the opposite direction as she approached, just rounding the final corner. She stopped where she was, and then backed up around the corner. Shinji was avoiding her, she knew. While Asuka was her distraction, Shinji had been the Fifth’s. Now he was gone, and she could almost feel Shinji’s grief. She would rather not force him into a confrontation that he did not want. So she waited patiently. At first she could hear his voice clearly, as he pleaded for Asuka to come back and help him. Rei leaned against the wall. Perhaps Asuka would respond to his pleas, they were more forceful than her gentle coaxing, more forceful than she could ever be. Eventually Shinji’s voice grew quiet, before it faded completely. He sounded defeated, and Rei expected him to reappear out the door.

He did not. Not immediately at least. It took him a few minutes before he fled Asuka’s room, running past Rei without a second glance. Rei did not try to stop him, and instead made her way to Asuka’s room, the door left ajar by Shinji’s hasty retreat.

There was something wrong with the room when Rei entered. A foreign smell that she could not place lingered in the air, and Asuka’s clothes were disheveled, exposing her breasts. The EKG monitor was producing a loud, solid tone, and Rei at first worried that Asuka was gone. A moment later she saw that that was not the case, instead the various pads that read her lifesigns had been jostled off by something. Shinji had been yelling at her to help him. Trying to pull her back from her comatose state. Had he tried to physically shake her awake? And despite his efforts, Asuka was still there, laying on the bed. Rei walked to where she usually did, parallel with Asuka’s shoulders. Then she reached out, turning off the EKG monitor and plunging the room into silence.

Asuka’s hair had fallen into her face, and Rei brushed it away from her eyes, a small smile crossing her face as she leaned over Asuka, making sure that Asuka would be able to see it. To know that it was her there. Asuka’s face didn’t move when Rei cleared Asuka’s eyes. Perhaps she was tired, Rei thought. She reached down, slipping Asuka’s fingers through hers. Asuka’s fingers were limp, which shouldn’t have been unusually, in fact her entire body was more limp than it had been. Rei gave Asuka’s hand a small squeeze, trying to draw out a reaction. Still, there was nothing. She tried again, harder this time. It did not matter, Asuka remained unresponsive, completely oblivious to Rei. Her eyes remained unfocused, her breathing was normal, as if she needed to shut out the entire world,

The strange knot in her stomach that had comforted Rei when she was around Asuka was gone. It was replaced with a sickening feeling, the concrete emotion of dread.. A part of her knew that Asuka would no longer respond to anything she did. Whatever Ikari had done had made Asuka retreat from the fragile state that Rei had nursed her into for the past few days. She stroked Asuka’s head one last time, and then turned around, walking away from the bed.

"Farewell." Rei whispered. The first words she said to Asuka, and the last.

She drove any thoughts about Asuka out of her mind. She was a distraction, and now the time for distractions was over. Even if her heart felt heavy as she left. There was only one thing left for Rei to do then. Wait for the promised time. She began to retrace the steps of the first journey she took. Back to the cold room where she had been born. That was where she would wait for the end to come. There was nothing but the Scenario that mattered now, though not as the Commander had planned it. That much was certain.  


End file.
